So, today my step-mom and niece ran into Dee's ex-husband, Chester at the store. Chester was with his older daughter, and of course........Regan and Molly. Now, Chester met my step-mom one time before. And it wasn't a pleasant experience. Probably because he blames me for his divorce. (and because my step-mom took Dee over there to get some of her belongings he was holding hostage. Don't think he appreciated it. I wasn't invited.) Yeah, right. Look, I was in ANOTHER STATE when he told Dee he wanted a divorce. I am not a home-wrecker, never been one. The halo is there.......it's just a bit tilted! Now, it doesn't matter that Dee and I talked every night till 3 in the morning, and it really doesn't matter that we've had a thing for each-other for YEARS!!! All that matters is.........he asked Dee to leave, she did.........and came right to me! I'm the winner!
Now, Chester is kind of an older creepy guy who seems to be losing his mind a bit. Apparently, he didn't remember who my step-mom was when she waltzed right up to him and the kids to say "hello!". But, when she introduced herself, his memory came back. He was not amused. Nor was he thrilled when my niece introduced herself either. (My niece rocks, by the way. She is 14, has a self-made tattoo and is full of ATTITUDE!!) So, apparently the visit was short. That's too bad. I like a good story to tell everyone at work Monday morning. This one just lacked the required drama. Dirty looks was as far as it went.
Other fun news for today? More fish. $40 in new fish. Why new fish, you ask? Well, because as a lesbian I am required to own lots of pets. Now, I read through the manual. Unfortunately, there is no clause that allows you to substitute kids for pets. I feel that this is unfortunate. It should be more than fair. But, section IV, paragraph 17 states very clearly: "Each lesbian house-hold must have a minimum of 2 pets per each muff-diver. Felines are strongly encouraged, however each pussy can be substituted with other animals as long as they come in multiples of 3. Canines are encouraged as long as you have a cage for them in the back of your car, visible above your rainbow bumper sticker. See requirements for rainbow bumper stickers in section VII paragraph 6, subsection C. No other substitutions are allowed." Look, I'm not a rule breaker.
Oh, yeah.........fish. So, we have this great aquarium and one of the older girls killed my favorite fish about a month or so ago. Now, this was only after a few of them died from what we believe was natural causes. It was NOT from Regan emptying a whole can of fish food into the tank. Nope, no way. Not a chance. Never. (See, Dee..........I don't blame everything on her!!!) And it wasn't my sweet, innocent Dani. (Dani = my daughter. 16....bi-racial, is it all coming back???) No, it was the 13 year old, Piper. Yeah, Piper decided she should be trying to "pet" the fish and force feed them if they were not eating normal. Someone told me that the oil in skin is bad for scales. Anyway, my favorite fish died. It was mauled to death. Possibly over fed and force fed to death too. Possibly. So, needed more fish. And yes, I made the lesbian quota!!
Well, all the kids will be home tomorrow. I look forward to it. This house just doesn't quite feel the same without the screaming, yelling, cursing and crying! Well, and the noise the kids make. Goodie.
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